flowers, and was trimmed with costly ribbon, which was filled with bows upon her bonnet. My heart felt sad. I expected every moment that a reproof would come from the minister; but none came. He took us both into the church. My reflections were as follows: This is my sister; must I pattern after her? Must I dress like her? If it is right for her to dress so, it is right for me. I remembered what the Bible said about adorning the body. 1 Tim. ii, 9, 10. For some time I was in deep trial, and finally concluded that if it was so sinful as I had thought it to be to dress like the world, those whom I looked up to as being devoted christians, and older in experience than myself, would feel it, and would deal plainly with those who went thus contrary to God's word. But I knew that I must be plain in my dress. I believed it to be wicked to think so much of appearance, to decorate our poor mortal bodies with flowers and gold. It seemed to me that we had better be humbling ourselves in the dust, for our sins and transgressions were so great that God gave his only beloved Son to die for us. p. 13, Para. 2, [2SG].
I found it almost impossible to enjoy religion in a large female seminary, surrounded with so many influences calculated to lead the mind from God, and night would often find me in bondage. I did not attend school after I was twelve years old. And I did not feel satisfied with what I enjoyed. I longed to be sanctified to God. But sanctification was preached in such a manner that I could not understand it, and thought that I never could attain to it, and settled down with my present enjoyment. p. 14, Para. 1, [2SG].
In 1841 Wm. Miller gave a second course of lectures in Portland, I attended them, and felt that I was not ready for Christ's coming. And when the invitation was given for those who desired prayers to come forward, I pressed through the crowd, and in taking up this cross found some relief. I began to plead with God for pure religion. I believed the truths I heard Wm. Miller proclaim; but realized that a mere belief in the second coming of Christ would not save me. I must experience the soul-purifying effects of the truth, that when it was preached, it would find a response in my own heart. O, how I longed for a living experience in the things of God. I prayed earnestly for this. My soul was thirsting for full and free salvation, but I knew not how to obtain it. p. 14, Para. 2, [2SG].