light, and have not the least idea of the self-denial and sacrifice required to journey from place to place, meeting cold hearts, distant looks and severe speeches, separated from those who are closely entwined around my heart. p. 128, Para. 1, [2SG].
While riding in the cars I was unable to sit up. My husband made a bed on the seat, and I laid down with aching head and heart. The burden borne for others I dreaded above everything else. Agony of mind was my lot. All these things came before me that night, and I found myself saying, "It won't pay! It won't pay! So much labor to accomplish so little." p. 129, Para. 1, [2SG].
In this state of mind I fell asleep and dreamed that a tall angel stood by my side, and asked me why I was sad. I related to him the thoughts that had troubled me, and said, "I can do so little good, why may we not be with our children, and enjoy their society? Said he, "You have given to the Lord two beautiful flowers, the fragrance of which is as sweet incense before him, and is more precious in his sight than gold or silver, for it is a heart gift. It draws upon every fibre of the heart as no other sacrifice can. You should not look upon present appearances, but keep the eye single to your duty, single to God's glory, and follow in his opening providence, and the path shall brighten before you. Every self-denial, every sacrifice is faithfully recorded, and will bring its reward." p. 129, Para. 2, [2SG].
The blessing of the Lord attended our conference at Sutton. After the meeting closed we went on our way to Canada East. My throat troubled me much. I could not speak aloud, or even whisper, without causing me suffering. We rode, praying as we went, for strength to endure the journey. About every ten miles we were obliged to stop that I might rest. My husband braided the tall grass and tied the horse to it, giving him a chance to feed, then spread my cloak upon the grass for a resting-place for me. Thus we continued until we arrived at Melbourne. We expected to meet opposition there. Many who professed to believe in the near coming of our Saviour fought against the law of God. p. 130, Para. 1, [2SG].
We felt the need of strength from God. I could not speak aloud, and inquired, For what have I come this long distance? Again we tried to exercise faith, knowing that